Candle, Candle Burning Bright
by nytecat
Summary: Unselfish love is like a candle softly burning away. A dark Christmas tale.


_**Title: Candle, Candle, Burning Bright **_

_Author's note: Wasn't planning on doing a Christmas fic but then I came across this quote and it reminded me of my second favourite unsung pair. There are references to my last Christmas fic, Be My Elf, and three other fics of mine: The Tea Leaves Lie, One Night with Mikoto and Unsaid. This is intended to be a one-shot with what happens after the ending open to your imagination. Merry Christmas, everyone. _

**A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;  
It makes no noise at all,  
But softly gives itself away;  
While quite unselfish, it grows small.**

**--Eva K. Logue **

It was cold and getting colder. Darkness encircled the small group as they huddled around the rectangle coffee table. Faint light, from four squat and round Christmas candles on the table, tried to scare away the inky gloom. As Christmases go, this was one of the worst ones in Yukino's life.

"Crappy luck to have a Christmas party and then there's a black out!" Natsuki mumbled suddenly, breath misting in the frozen air. She stared pointedly at the candle flames. They cringed at her dark green glare and spluttered feebly their innocence. Natsuki's cheeks and nose tip were turning redder from the cold, and so, she burrowed herself deeper into the crook of her companion's arm. In response, Shizuru wordlessly drew the blanket tighter around them. It seemed that the frigid temperature had stolen her usual sunny disposition.

"Well done stating the obvious, princess! As if at your place, it would be any different. Oh wait - we would be languishing in the dark on a leather couch with crisps for dinner!" Nao snapped. The redhead wondered once again that evening how she had been roped into joining this ragtag party. It was bad enough that she had to see these people at school but on the holidays? Worse still, she was frozen to the bone and the only people she could cuddle with were Miyu and her precious monster of a mistress, Alyssa. Not going to happen – ever!

As if sensing the negativity emanating from the middle-schooler, the android and the flaxen haired girl fixed Nao with expressionless stares; driving nails of ice down her spine, deeper than the weather ever could. Nao, with a wisdom beyond her years, kept her silence and instead threw the woman sitting across from her a petulant look.

"And, what kind of cheapskate are you not to buy new batteries to replace the dead ones in your flash lights?"

Mai avoided Nao's accusing gaze by turning her eyes to Mikoto who slumbered blissfully on the floor next to her; discretion was after all the better part of valour. She stroked the girl's black hair as if that needed her utmost attention. As she had quietly hoped, Nao got bored after a few minutes and instead hunkered further into her borrowed blanket.

Yukino watched the by-play and wondered uneasily how she had ended up here. It had all begun this morning. She had been walking with Haruka, enjoying the snow gilded majesty of the scenery. It had been peaceful, happy even, until the familiar sight of a Ducati parked by the curb broke the tranquillity. Leaning against the blue demon was its owner, idly slapping her helmet against her thigh as she seemed to be waiting – quite impatiently – for whomever was in the supermarket.

When Natsuki saw Yukino with Haruka, she lit up with a smile that was brighter than any Christmas tree. At last, a diversion from the boredom!

The mousy brunette stiffened in dread when Natsuki enthusiastically waved them over. She hesitated for a moment before moving to join Haruka.

"Natsuki, it was nice of your friends to help us again with the orphanages this year," Haruka said politely with a cordial nod.

The biker grinned at that, blushing a little self-consciously as she replied: "It's our pleasure. Any time." Then she blinked as if a thought occurred to her. "Hey, we're having a party tonight, would you guys like to come?" Natsuki asked the blonde.

Yukino tried to catch her friend's eye before Haruka could respond. They were supposed to have a quiet dinner together. Yukino was even going to cook a turkey! But, as it was often the case, Haruka was blind to the furtive glances her childhood friend was giving her. She happily agreed to the party.

Before Yukino could meekly voice a protest, the sliding doors to the supermarket swooshed open. Out stepped the bane of her existence – Shizuru Fujino, heir to the Fujino conglomerate and Haruka's former arch rival. The elegant woman did not seem surprised to see Yukino and Haruka standing there. Only the merest widening of her sharp eyes betrayed her unruffled composure, masked quickly by a serene smile.

Keen eyes which noted the mousy brunette's discomfort when Natsuki relayed her invitation and Haruka's evident enthusiasm about the party. A small mischievous grin snaked on her features before Shizuru could stop it. She silently handed the groceries over to her love, who deposited them on the bike before opening up the storage compartment.

"Ara, I seemed to have forgotten the paper cups!" Shizuru exclaimed suddenly in dismay, even putting her hand over her mouth in absolute shock. Natsuki flicked a glance across the groceries and wondered what her woman was going on about when the cups were right there, wedged in the corner of the plastic bag.

Before Natsuki could ask Shizuru where she had misplaced her eyes, her tall girlfriend hooked an arm around Haruka's. "Haruka, help me, won't you?" Shizuru asked quickly. Without waiting for a reply, the college student led her ex-arch rival through the sliding doors. Natsuki could only helplessly shrug at Yukino's wondering look.

"Them college exams, murders the mind you know," Natsuki said with a lame attempt at sarcasm.

Yukino dredged up a polite smile deep from her reserves. It took a giant effort; she was nearly running dry.

The pair waited in nervous silence for a few minutes. Then Natsuki began to hum quietly, tapping a familiar beat on her helmet which took the brunette a few moments to recognize. Yukino could not help but cast the biker an incredulous glance. She had not known the school's reigning ice princess to be a ballad lover. The song was Olivia's "A Little Pain".

"So..."

"Yes, Natsuki-san?"

Natsuki looked suddenly coy; a rare, slightly salacious smile curving her lips. "What did you get Haruka?"

"Get for Haruka?" Yukino repeated in confusion. Then it dawned on her what the biker was asking. "You mean for Christmas?"

"No, I mean for her birthday. Of course, I mean Christmas!" Natsuki said, clearly eager for the information. Her eyes had a bright hungry light in them.

Yukino frowned in mute disquiet. She was not actually sure if being the Student Council President entitled Natsuki to such private information. After all, what happened between her and Haruka was intimate. Or, at least will become intimate after Yukino gave Haruka her gift, the brunette amended hastily in her mind.

"Natsuki-san, with all due respect, I prefer not to tell you," Yukino said with the quiet authority of being on the Executive Council had instilled in her over the past year.

Natsuki grinned with a foxy sly smile. "Oh, I see. Well, I respect your desire for privacy, Yukino-san." She paused for a minute and turned her gaze to the sentinel sliding doors. "Lingerie, is it? Good choice."

"What? No!"

The biker laughed uproariously at Yukino's embarrassed outburst. The bawdy glint in Natsuki's eyes did not go away however. "Sorry, my mistake. Jewellery, is it?"

It was obvious that Natsuki would not rest until she had ferreted out the truth from Yukino. The student sighed with resignation. "No, not jewellery. It's a -"

Suddenly, realisation dawned in the Student Council President's eyes. "Oh, please, Yukino, don't tell me it's a scarf."

The evident disappointment in Natsuki's voice set the fire alight in Yukino's heart. "What? It's made with love!" She only realised how inane that sounded after she had said it.

It was then Natsuki's turn to sigh. A deep, weary, sad sigh. She turned her gaze back to the store front. They could see Shizuru and Haruka inside at a cashier. Yukino absently wondered what took those two so long to get paper cups.

"Remember what we talked about in the Student Council room last autumn?" Natsuki asked quietly. "How I prayed that Haruka would see the love that you have in you for her one day?"

Yukino could remember that day. She remembered it very well in fact. That was the day the rift between her and Natsuki had managed to heal. "Yes." A deep breath. "These things take time, Natsuki. As you very well should know... and understand."

For several moments, Natsuki stayed quiet. They watched Shizuru pay the cashier as the lady bagged the towers of paper cups. Haruka seemed frustrated with the woman's lax efficiency so she snatched up a plastic bag and did it herself. When Natsuki did speak next, it caught Yukino by surprise. "Do you know that quote about the Christmas candle by Eva Logue?"

Yukino could not help but feel that she did not like where this conversation was going. A chilly dread crept up her spine and spread out to her arms. Unconsciously, she folded her arms as if fortifying herself. Her answer was recalcitrant as the last leaf of autumn on a windy day. "Yes."

Natsuki threw her a considering sidelong glance before turning her attention back to the supermarket. "You know, I've always hated that quote." She paused then looked at Yukino with a soft sadness in her eyes. "...Cos the Christmas candle loses in the end."

A soft gasp of shock brought Yukino back to the present. She blearily stared at the horrified expression on Haruka's face before turning to see what had captured the blonde's attention. One of the candles had finally burnt itself out. What little wax was left would not be worth reviving. Yukino stared at the dead candle, mulling over her memories of the morning.

The quiet of the night was broken by Mikoto's stirring. She awoke, stared in amazement at the group then turned to Mai.

"Mai, I'm thirsty," Mikoto mewled piteously.

Mai had finally reached a state where she was warm. Not toasty warm but at least she was not shivering miserably. The redhead was not very keen on venturing out from beneath her blanket into the frosted air to the kitchen. She thought of asking her charge to wait for a while but one glance at those puppy dog eyes and the resistance in her heart melted like snow in the Sahara. She sighed then steeled herself for the cold. Her bones ached in meek protest at her decision.

Yukino had been quietly observing Mai and Mikoto. When she saw the redhead's obvious reluctance, she jumped to help her. Literally. "It's okay, Mai, I'll get the drinks," Yukino quickly volunteered as she tried not to hop from foot to foot as the frigid air stole her breath and warmth.

She ignored Mai's guilty look as she reached for a candle to light her way and hurriedly asked: "Anyone else want a drink?"

The group chimed in their orders.

Without wasting a moment, Yukino fled the living room and plunged into the darkness.

* * *

It seemed Mai and Mikoto were fans of sparkling fruit juices. The fridge was full of them. Yukino placed the candle holder on the counter top next to the microwave. It took a little time to get the drinks and place them on a serving tray she had found in an overhead cabinet. As she worked, her mind whirled with the dark thoughts Natsuki's last comment had put in her head.

She was so intent on her job, she had not heard Haruka enter the kitchen. Her heart jumped into her throat when she turned from shutting the fridge and saw her friend standing behind her, arranging the juices in strict alignment on the tray.

"Haruka? What on earth?" Yukino managed to squeak out.

The blonde finished arranging the drinks and turned to cast Yukino a bright grin. It was reminiscent of the smile she gave when she had caught dastardly students red-handed in their hijinks. "I couldn't let you brave the cold and dark on your own, now could I?"

Yukino, for some reason she could not fathom, did not feel the cold at that moment. She tried to muster up the words which she had thought of since the first day she had realised that the feelings she harboured in her heart were beyond those of mere friendship. She finally said: "Thank you, Haruka."

Haruka gave her a quizzy look, wondering why her friend had been acting strangely since the morning. She thought how best to approach Yukino on the subject but decided that perhaps it was best to leave things as they were. "It isn't a problem." She picked up the tray and hefted it to get used to the weight. "This is a bit heavy. I'll take this to the others."

"Haruka, wait!"

The blonde paused in the act of walking out of the kitchen. She stood in the doorway, waiting for Yukino.

Yukino cast about the kitchen for something that would hold Haruka for a moment longer. Her eyes landed on the candle sitting on the counter top. "Take the candle with you to light your way."

Haruka laughed in response. "That's what I love about you, Yukino, you always think about others first before yourself," she said once her laughter dried up. "Anyway, I'll be fine. I don't need a candle to light my way," she continued on brightly. She had no idea how deeply her words had stabbed the mousy brunette.

With a small proud smile, Haruka left Yukino alone in the kitchen.

Yukino held her smile until Haruka had left the room. She had hoped for a kiss and instead she got a smile. Once upon a time, she would have been happy with that pittance. A once upon a time that ended this morning. "Why? Why can't it be enough?" she asked the dark kitchen in quiet anger. Her hands clenched on the counter top in a rare show of rage. "It hurts so much," she then whispered to the watching shadows.

After several moments, she let her hands fall to her sides. Her left hand brushed against a hard object in her coat pocket. Startled, Yukino reached into and felt a small box – it was the new gift she had bought for Haruka after her conversation with Natsuki. It was a silver lion pendant for her lifelong friend and protector. Her fingers curled around the hard box until they hurt. The physical pain was nothing compared to the fire that lashed her soul.

She squeezed her eyes shut and when she opened them again several heartbeats later, the candle filled her vision. The flame had shortened the candle to a stub since they had lit it this evening. Soon, it will join its dead compatriot. She felt a sharp pang of regret then cursed herself silently for her foolishness. After all, wasn't it the candle's sole purpose to quietly give itself unselfishly?

Without knowing it, Yukino crossed the distance to stand before the candle. She released her grip on the jewellery box in her pocket and reached up to lift the candle off the counter. The woman stared at the candle in her hand for a moment. Then she raised the candle up to her lips and gently blew out the flame.


End file.
